Being choosey about our choice of words

EXPOSE | Bad words for good things

Profanity is a bad thing, not primarily because it talks about bad things, but because it talks badly about good things.
Tim Shorey

EXPLORE | A matter of character and blessing

The exchange in the boardroom became increasingly heated, largely fueled by someone who wasn’t even supposed to be there.

As was often the case, the offender would innocently show up when you least desired him to.

Back and forth it went, until the man of smaller stature could no longer take it: “Call me elf, one more time!”

That scene from the 2003 hit movie, Elf, was just one of many hilariously precious moments featuring Buddy the elf, played by Will Farrell.

It seemed pretty innocent. But only because it was Buddy.

It was as insensitive as it was honest. And “elf”, is only a 3-letter word.

What are we to make of the 4-letter words?

“But swearing is cool”, or so it was argued.

But to be fair, it was more, “you’re not cool if you don’t do it.”

That is how it was presented to us after having confronted our eldest son in his freshman year of high school over his word choice in a text to a friend.

He wasn’t trying to be cool. He was just trying not to be not cool. Another hilariously precious moment.

I sometimes wonder if God arranges for these kinds of conversations so that we can hear how ridiculous we sound when trying to pull the same thing on Him.

Whether we are just being honest, or trying to measure up, we need to choose our words very carefully. Words matter.

General George Washington had taken an opportunity to make this very point in a memo to his army on August 3, 1776 (special thanks to Adam Brown for this topic/reference):

“The General is sorry to be informed that the foolish, and wicked practice, of profane cursing and swearing (a Vice heretofore little known in an American Army) is growing into fashion; he hopes the officers will, by example, as well as influence, endeavor to check it, and that both they, and the men will reflect, that we can have little hopes of the blessing of Heaven on our Arms, if we insult it by our impiety, and folly; added to this, it is a vice so mean and low, without any temptation, that every man of sense, and character, detests and despises it.”
General Orders
Head Quarters, New York, August 3rd 1776

Profanity demonstrates a lack of character and a propensity for the foolish. Both are not only unbecoming behavior for a member of an army that was under the command of General Washington, but risked deferring the blessing of God.

Because a person’s word choice is a matter of character, and a lack of character can have devastating consequences, 4-letter words, and the like, would not be tolerated.

Washington’s army couldn’t say the didn’t get the memo–because he literally sent them a memo. We can’t either.

In Ephesians 5:4, Paul says exactly the same thing:

Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving.
Ephesians 5:4

Paul was not talking about specific words, but a way of talking that was just out of place. It was out of character. It doesn’t belong in our midst, let alone coming out of our mouths.

EXECUTE | Wisely choosing all our words

But words are really just a symptom.

Improper use of the mouth is in direct proportion to the improper filling of our hearts. In the couple of verses leading up to verse 4, Paul says that we are to be imitators of God, walking in love–hardly a heart whose mouth would be profane.

Word choice starts in the heart

Dropping .25 cents in the ‘swear jar’ is one option. But, as we’ve amply pointed out in the past, on our own, our efforts never bring about what God desires. Trying to do better is not even worth considering. Asking God that we are able to imitate Him and walk in love can only come from a heart that is completely His.

Call it what it is

Just because the Motion Picture Association of America can’t get a rating right, doesn’t mean we’re off the hook. What does God call poor word choice in Ephesians 5:4? Filth. Foolish. Crude.

Love what God loves

It comes down to loving what God loves. Who are we to use profanity for what God loves, created, and intended? When we love what God loves, there will be thanksgiving coming out of our mouths instead. If everything is God’s, what words should we use to describe it?

Being choosey about our word choice will mean side stepping, as General Washington puts it, “a vice so mean and low” because “every man of sense, and character” knows to “detest and despise it.”